Commercial Appeal
Top 10 Old School NFL Commercials
Whatever happened to the days of funny commercials starring the NFL's greatest players? Merlin Olson made us want to buy flowers, Bubba Smith made us want to buy beer and John Madden cured our athletes foot. Now all we get is ten new Peyton Manning commercials every season and they all suck. And while we're at it, can someone find a way to burn every copy of that John Cougar Mellencamp "This Is Our Country" Chevy commercial? It's like listening to a dog getting burned with a hot iron.
#10 Joe Montana Hangs Out With Ray Charles - I wonder if they did heroin together after filming this commercial?
#9 Jim McMahon Likes "Outrageous-ness" Scooters - Can somebody please explain why McMahon didn't wear sun glasses during games?
#8 The Mark Gastineau Classic Gym - Order one in the next thirty minutes and they'll throw in an authentic Gastineau wig at no additional charge.
#7 Dick Butkus Kisses Butt For Prestone - I wonder if there's a Butt Dicktus somewhere in the universe? Wait, did he just say his business is plugging holes?
#6 Being OJ Simpson Really Hertz - Ahh, so many jokes to choose from and so little time. Okay, how about this one... Did you hear O.J.'s going back to work for Hertz? Apparently the new slogan will be: "We get you to the airport with an hour to kill".
#5 Mean Joe Green Isn't So Mean After All - Actually he could still be a real asshole. You just never know these days.
#4 The Fridge Loves His McDonald's - This commercial would've been way better if he ate the table.
#3 Bubba Smith Thinks Miller Lite Tastes Less Great And Filling - Kind of makes you want to have a Police Academy marathon, doesn't it?
#2 Bo Thinks He Knows Everything - Did anyone notice the racial undertones here? I mean, Wayne Gretzky might as well have been wearing a white hood.
#1 Joe Namath Sells Pantyhose - If you look closely, you can see the shadow Marv Albert touching himself in the background. Kind of like the ghost in Three Men And A Baby.
